A great CRA story

And yes, this really is true – I used to get a lot of calls about clients from the federal government.

CRA: well we’ve been trying to get hold of Mr. Smith for some time but his number is disconnected.

Me: He’s gone off the grid, I doubt he has a phone.

CRA: He’s not allowed to be off the grid. He must get a phone so we can contact him. (god’s truth, that’s what the woman said verbatum)

Me: He has no legal obligation to have a phone – if he has one it’s probably a sat phone but I wouldn’t know the number.

CRA: So how do you know he’s even active?

Me: Because (coincidentally, but I didn’t say that) I drove out to  (insert name of bum f**k nowhere 25 miles from any possible civilization and at the top of a mountain after a 3 mile trek up a goat track) I had lunch with Mr. & Mrs. Smith last week. They are alive, their enterprise is doing well and they report their income fairly. However, if you need to contact them, go see them. They would be happy to see you there.

CRA: I can’t do that and they have to have a phone.

Me: Well, no actually they don’t. You can have someone at the local TSO go see them.

CRA: *we* (her and god?) do not do that.

Well lady, then you’ll never see 500 acres of the prettiest land on god’s earth and how well people can survive without a lot of current extravagances. But what do I know? I am only the phone contact for them. And you’re just some (expletive deleted) bureaucrat who can’t wrap her head around the fact that some people don’t want to play your (more not nice words) game.

And boy – when I wrote this post originally back in 2009 when it happened, I had a *lot* of expletives.  I probably swore more when I was in my 40’s.


Hey – if you have a similar story, or know someone who is hassled for being “off the grid”, let me know.  I’d love to hear how they resolved it.

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